Naomi Holt, Spiritual Director | Stepping out of the limelight and doing ‘little things with great love’.
An SGM Interview with Naomi Holt
Spiritual Direction and Mid-Life Transition
Naomi Holt brings many years of experience in Christian ministry into her new vocation as a Spiritual Director, accompanying others as they journey more deeply into knowing God. Kathryn Overall has a conversation with Naomi about her formation journey in the Spiritual Directors Formation Programme, being the youngest person in her cohort, stepping out of her public ministry role and some of the other changes that have happened in her life as a result of following her draw to contemplative spirituality.
Naomi, what drew you to becoming a spiritual director?
I spent several years in ministry knowing I wanted to be serving God but still wondering what my specific ministry was within the broadness of pastoring and managing a ministry centre. What was it that drove me? What was that one thing that was mine to do? What was my why?
Over time and through personal reflection, sparked by some helpful questions in Simon Sinek’s ‘Find Your Why’, I realised the thing I am most passionate about is people finding deeper connection in their relationship with God.
A revelatory moment for me was when a friend made a thoughtful observation. She was working with my husband and I at the time and was on a journey towards God. She made the comment “If I want to know about God, I talk to Nathan (my wonderful, theology-loving husband). If I want to know God, I talk to you.”
If ever I wanted who I am and what I’m about to be summed up in one sentence, I’d be pretty happy with that! If my epitaph reads ‘she was someone who helped others to know God’ I can rest knowing I did what was on my heart to do.
Why did you choose to do SGM’s Spiritual Director’s Formation Programme?
Once I had come to the realisation that the one thing I wanted to do more than anything else was help people go deeper with God, the decision to study was easy. If I was going to enrol in a course of study, why not in an area that is all about becoming better equipped and honing skills to journey with people in their spiritual life?
I didn’t necessarily see myself becoming a professional spiritual director, but saw the SGM Spiritual Directors Formation Programme as an opportunity to learn ways of listening and journeying with people in their spiritual life that I could incorporate into anything I was doing. However, from my very first reading, my very first workshop, I found myself at home in this work. The beauty and sacredness of spiritual direction has, and continues to be, life-giving.
What have you received during the programme?
Finding my way into spiritual direction has felt like a homecoming. I have found a place to call home in ministry. It is sacred. It is beautiful. I have received the gift of letting go of some of the more legalistic parts of my faith, an openness to others and what their formation might look like, an openness to God working in all sorts of ways, and a trust that we don’t have to get it all right but that God will work things through in his time.
The formation programme is aptly named. You are learning skills for accompanying others in their spiritual formation, but it is also a time of personal formation.
Everything I read and hear and learn I am applying to myself first. I am receiving spiritual direction regularly throughout the course in addition to experiencing the ministry of my peers as we practise together. It has been wonderfully life-changing.
I understand you were the youngest person in your cohort. What has it been like to go on this formation journey in your 30’s?
I was 36 when I entered the formation programme. This time in my life felt rather transitionary - I was noticing a sense of entering a new stage of life. I’ve heard from some women that their 30’s was a time when they really came into themselves; came into greater understanding and acceptance of self. This has been true for me.
The drawing to spiritual direction happened at a time in my life when I was feeling less and less need for the hype of loud modern worship and the gratification of being valued for what I could offer from a platform to a crowd of people. While I’ve appreciated and needed quiet time with God in solitude since I was a child, this quieter way of being was becoming my preferred way of being with God. I have felt more drawn to the contemplative in this stage of my life.
My 30’s also arrived with a greater openness to what spirituality can look like for different people. A less mature faith and theology in my 20’s saw me expecting others to experience spirituality in specific ways. My journey into my 30’s came with a letting go of this and an appreciation for the different ways people worship, pray and connect with God. These things were setting me up to be ready to learn and offer spiritual direction.
Have there been any advantages to doing this programme in your 30’s?
Participating in this programme as I head towards the second half of life has been a gift. As the youngest in my cohort I glean from the wisdom of not just my teachers but my fellow students - hearing their contributions from their own life experience and professional backgrounds and watching the different ways they work in spiritual direction. Entering the programme at this stage in my life gives me time to really lean into this work and continue to grow, learn and form over a long period of time as I continue past the programme. I sometimes wonder if I’ve got the best deal!
What changes have occurred – within you and in your life – as you have moved through this formation programme?
I have had some pretty big life changes occur whilst in the programme. Half way through my second year I made the decision to move out of the pastoral/management ministry I had been in for almost 9 years. I had found the way my tradition did full-time ministry a tricky fit for me personally for some time and my mental health was suffering.
For several years I’d had a growing desire to simplify. To move out of the limelight. Being a part of the spiritual direction programme allowed me the space to view this change from a perspective outside my organisation.
Through the programme I learnt to recognise desire as a way God speaks and moves in us. Following a discernment process, I made the choice to go into part time employment, be more present to my family and enjoy serving in a simpler way. I now work as a teacher aide with five and six year olds. I carry less on my shoulders, yet everyday I have the opportunity to “do little things with great love” as St Therese of Lisieux so beautifully encourages.
The programme is changing me too. I have learnt, and continue to learn, to really listen and not have to offer my own two cents to every conversation. I have learnt the value of curiosity when it comes to someone else’s story and how God might be speaking and moving in their life. And I have learnt the beauty and power of simply noticing.
Was there a particular module that stood out to you?
Our workshop on ‘Images of God’ was a memorable one. All of us have images we associate with God, whether conscious or not. The images of God we interact with in church tend to be limited in number and often rather masculine. Yet the Bible is absolutely packed with metaphors and images for God, many of them not even human, let alone masculine. There’s God as clothing, or a door, a gate, in labour and a fire, a hen, or even laughter. God is so much greater than our ability to put descriptors to that we need multiple ways of describing God in order to grapple with who God really is.
A question we were presented with was ‘Have I outgrown my image of God?’ My images of God have served me well. Father is a well-loved image that I don’t want to part with. Yet am I missing the width and breadth of our amazing deity by sitting comfortably with this image and not exploring others? This question has invited me on a journey to widen my understanding of who God is as I explore other images of God.
As I accompany others on their spiritual journey I’m interested to explore with them the images of God that have served them well, those that may not have that need some reassessing, and looking for what new images God is inviting them to notice in order to know God more fully.
Where to from here?
I feel drawn to set up my own spiritual direction practice - my challenge is to trust this to God’s timing. I aim to continue to learn and grow through reading, contemplative practices and spiritual direction communities. I’m keen to experiment more with creative ways of working. I’m grateful to the people who have come on this adventure with me over the last two years by being my directees and to those who will I accompany next.
I’m keen to accompany anyone who’s truly desiring to explore or deepen their spiritual life. I’m particularly keen to see spiritual direction accessible for young people. I’d also love to journey with those who are lacking confidence in their spirituality and ability to recognise God at work in their lives. Coming from a period of working as a pastor I also have some understanding of the unique burdens Christian leaders face, which I believe places me in good stead to work with those in ministry.
How can people get in touch touch with you?
People are welcome to contact me via email: naomi.f.holt@gmail.com
