Rachel Kitchens | The value of spiritual direction for people in their 20’s & 30’s.
An SGM Interview with Rachel Kitchens
Presence and Transformation in Spiritual Direction
Rachel Kitchens is a spiritual director, retreat facilitator and workshop facilitator for the SGM Spiritual Directors Formation Programme. In this blog post, Kathryn Overall has a conversation with Rachel about the convictions she holds about the power of spiritual direction and what she notices in her own practice about the spiritual needs of people in their 20’s and 30’s.
Rachel, what drew you to becoming a spiritual director?
I had an excellent spiritual director in Vancouver, Canada when I was studying to get my Masters Degree in Christian Studies from Regent College. She opened up a whole world to me of contemplation, stillness, reflection, and that still, quiet space where two people are listening to God together. It was a very sacred experience for me.
There were times where we would sit in silence and not say a word. The silence felt "charged' with the grandeur of the Holy Spirit and I was easily brought to tears.
This seemed significant, so when I moved to New Zealand a few years later with my new husband, Andrew, I pursued another spiritual director in Auckland. I was curious about what spiritual direction was opening up in me and wanted to keep pursuing this 'mode' of connection with myself and God. I decided to do the SGM Spiritual Directors Formation Programme in 2014.
At that time I had a 9 month old little girl. I finished my formation about two years later, when my second daughter was 6 months old. It was certainly a juggle to do the study and have two small children, but it was so important to me that I made it work!
What is it like to now be a co-facilitator of SGM workshops, helping to form spiritual directors?
I love seeing the moment where new directors can go 'A-ha! This is a totally different level of relating, connecting, and 'being with' people who are wanting to connect with God. I enjoy sharing the material and helping new directors find their path in companioning others. I'm aware that the mind and body 'switch' required to bring your whole self to the art of spiritual direction is no small task.
What energises you about helping to form spiritual directors in Aoteraoa, New Zealand?
There is such a great need in the culture to come alongside people with deep spiritual desires that aren't being met by church, family, old practices, social media etc. We are a post-COVID world dealing with the threat of nuclear attack and global warming. Stories of abuse and scandals and corruption are everywhere. I think people are tired and they want to 'come home to God.' Spiritual directors can be facilitators in this process. With the beautiful work of the Holy Spirit, I believe that we can be midwives to what is being birthed in people. It's an exciting time to be doing this work - the cultural moment is ripe with possibility!
What convictions do you hold about the value of spiritual direction and contemplative spirituality? For whom do you hold these convictions?
My conviction is that the art of spiritual direction, when done really well with skill and patience and 'presence' to the other, is like creating a sacred environment that unlocks a massive force within a person, revealing beauty and gifts. For me, it's like watching a seed long buried under the soil burst into life and bloom right before your eyes.
The spiritual direction relationship can hold a power that evokes significant life changes in people. I believe this because I have seen the holy work of God come alive in 'real time' right in front of me. It's such a privilege.
I suppose I hold these convictions for church-leavers and for young adults who are so incredibly disillusioned and fearful and lost. God can be so very near to them. Are we (as spiritual directors) willing to do this deep work alongside these hurting people?
What does your spiritual direction practice look like?
I have about 20 directees, all ages and stages in their faith journey, but generally I meet with young adults from the ages of 20-35. I have a lot of relationships people of this age through my connection with the Venn Foundation, and in particular the Venn Residential Fellowship.
All the Fellows on the Fellowship are encouraged to have at least one spiritual direction session with me in the programme, and sometimes these relationships grow after their completion of the programme. I am always honoured to be part of their life journey at this stage in their lives.
We meet in my home during the days and evenings after kids are asleep. Also, since COVID I've opened up the potential for Zoom appointments. This works well for people that are not able to come to me in Auckland.
My in-person space must be quiet and private, and I tend to have music playing gently in the background when people arrive. I make them a cup of tea, I have art materials out to play with, and I try to prepare myself in prayer at least 10 minutes before hand. I write up my notes straight after so that I can have the memory of the session in my mind and return to it later for reflection or reminders of what we spoke about.
Something that has proved very helpful for me is having a 'visible God chair' in the room that I fill with images or items or symbols. It's directly in front of the directee. We are in a three chair circle.
I do this to remind myself and my directees that this is a three way conversation. I look to the God chair (and the directee does as well) when we have silence or stillness, when we are a bit stuck, or when I want to ask a question and I'm not sure if it's the right one.
The God chair is my constant reference because it reminds both my directee and me that God is ever present. I don't need to 'fix' this person. God is active already in this person's life. It helps me not to fall into the trap of solving problems. That's not my role here.
What themes or patterns do notice about the spiritual direction journeys for people in their 20’s and 30’s?
My experience is that young people have a lot of questions, a lot of self doubt, a lot of excitement, a lot of distraction and lots of opportunities, all at once!
So that is a real challenge: what do we attune to first, and how might God be speaking?
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
There are vocation issues, relationship questions, fears and hurts from childhood, fears about what the world is like, and what sort of life they want to lead with God into the future. Essentially the questions they are asking is "Who am I", "What do I offer", and "Am I enough"?
In addition they are asking- "Who is God for me today"? "What is this life all about?"
It's a full time of life, so we try and unpack these things - often they merge into each other!
Rachel Kitchens is a spiritual director, retreat facilitator and workshop facilitator for the SGM Spiritual Directors Formation Programme. She is also a Teaching Fellow for Venn Foundation.
